What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
- About 9 pints
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
- Popeye nearly killed him
How do you confuse a d##khead?
- Forty-two
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
- Roberto
What do you call a woman who has no arms, no legs but gives good head?
- Partially disabled
Why should you never hit a midget with a learning difficulties?
- It's not big and it's not clever
What do you call a female police officer with a freshly-shaven pussy?
- C#nt Stubble
What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis?
- Justin
How do you stop children from bed wetting?
- Electric blanket
What's grey, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss?
- A kidney dialysis machine
What does a gynaecologist and a pizza-boy have in common?
- They can both smell the food but can't eat it
What is the best thing about schizhophrenia?
- A casual wank suddenly turns into an orgy
Have you heard about the new Gay sitcom?
- It's Beaver, Leave It Alone
Why did the woman cross the road?
- More to the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen!
Two cannibals are sitting down eating a clown, one says to the other: does this taste funny to you?
Why did the blonde woman bring a ladder to the pub?
- She heard that the drinks were on the house!
