Helping Hand

A husband returned home one sunday with two black eyes.

"What on earth happened to you?" she asked.

"Well, i was in church today when i noticed this lady infront of me with her dress rammed between her buttocks. So, i leant over and pulled it out. And she spun around and puched me."

"So, why the two black eyes?", she asked.

"Well, i guess that's how she wanted her dress, so i tried to put it back in her arse crack."