Cheeky Chat Up Lines

One of us is thinking about sex… Okay, it’s me.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van!

I bet you £10 you’re gonna turn me down.

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Your eyes are like spanners – every time you look at me my nuts tighten.

Excuse me, do you have the time? I’m going to fuck you so hard, you little minx! Sorry I have Tourette’s, hold me.

If I’m a pain in your arse, we can just add more lube.

Pick a number between one and ten. Wrong! You Lose. Take all your clothes off.

Fancy making a porno? We don’t have to video it.

I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight you will.

Do you work for Royal Mail? No? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

I’m a doctor and i’m here to offer a free mammogram

Is that a tic-tac in your undies or are you just pleased to see me?

So, which one of Girls aloud are you?

Boy: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you’re not wearing any underwear …

Girl: Nice try, I am wearing underwear.

Boy: Shit … It must be an hour fast!

You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I drive as smart car

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? No? (Pull out yor pockets inside out) Would you like to?

Boy: Excuse me, want to dance?

Girl: No.

Boy: Maybe you didn’t hear me … I said you look really fat in those pants!

I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

I’m a mathematician baby! Do you fancy going to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

Guy: Can i smell your fanny?

Girl: (throws drink over him)

Guy: Oh well it must be your feet then…

Excuse me, you’ve got something on your top. My eyes!

Guy: Goes up to an ugly girl with a gorgeous mate and ask her ‘ do you want to dance?’.

Girl: Chuffed and over-enthusiastically she shouts ‘ yes! ‘

Guy: Quickly interjects ‘ Good, piss off and dance…I want to be alone with your friend. ‘

Have you ever been kissed on the navel? How about from the inside?

Reckon I could snatch a kiss tonight? Or even better, vice-versa?

Fancy going two’s on a baby?

Guy: ” I used to play this game in the army, it was called ‘WAR’, do you want to play?”

Girl: ” How do you play it? “

Guy: Grabs and jiggles girl’s breasts and shouts ‘ WWHAAAARRRRR!’

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Do you want to see something swell?

Pardon me, are you in heat?!

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew…

Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Let’s take a shower together — you smell.

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

All those curves, and me with no brakes!

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

My, oh my, what have you been eating?

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